


Cado

by trufflemores



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: 3.15, Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, The Wrath of Savitar, reaction fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 05:39:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10181852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trufflemores/pseuds/trufflemores
Summary: 3.15.  "I love you, Barry Allen.  Which is why I have to let you go."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Cado means to fall, abate, succumb, be sacrificed, be killed, sink.

_I love you, Barry Allen._

_Which is why I have to let you go._

_I have watched you chase the impossible for years.  I’ve seen what you can do.  I know that there is magic in your veins._

_I also know that your heart is human, and you are human, too, and when I am with you, you don’t look at either of those things._

_I need you to take care of yourself.  I need you to look out for one person this time instead of two._

_The weight of two is crushing you._

_I can’t let that happen anymore._

_I know you can stop Savitar.  Because you, Barry, you are the impossible that this city craved, that this world sorely needed.  You are the impossible that shouldn’t exist, the impossible that most people couldn’t believe in until they saw you.  But once they did?  No one could deny what they saw: you are capable.  You can and will stop Savitar._

_But I know you live two lives, Bar.  There is a side of you that belongs to the entire city.  There’s a side of you that belongs to Dad, and me, and Cisco, and –_

_Shh, don’t wake up yet.  I don’t want to leave just yet._

_I already miss the way you kick in your sleep, little restless movements.  You’re not sleeping now.  Even unconscious, I can see that you’re in pain.  I wish I could take that away from you._

_I miss when you are overjoyed and I miss when you are sad.  You are so human, and I love that about you.  I love that you love me as much as you do.  But it’s blinding you.  It’s making you vulnerable._

_I can’t watch you die trying to save me._

_I know you acted out of love.  I know that your proposal was sincere.  I know you meant every word and if we lived in a universe where you never saw the future, you would have proposed the same way.  Everything would’ve worked out.  Or it might’ve crashed and burned.  Is it possible for us to live a normal life together?  Or are we destined to survive only on the edge, reaching out to each other across a chasm too wide for either of us to cross?_

_I want to love you the way you love me, with unceasing, undying affection.  I want to be able to wake up beside you and know, somehow, that everything will be okay.  I want to marry you.  I really do, Barry._

_But I can’t if it means you will die protecting me._

_I know you care, Bar.  That’s why I worry.  And I worry you will take this the wrong way.  I still love you, baby.  I always will.  But I cannot be the reason you fall._

_I was there.  When Savitar made his promises.  ‘One shall fall.  One shall betray you.  One will suffer a fate far worse than death.’  I’m afraid, Barry._

_I’m afraid that if I let you save me, you’ll take my place in the grave.  You don’t want to live without me._ I _don’t want to live without_ you _.  You have such a good heart, Barry, but you are only so strong.  I won’t be the reason you break._

_You survived this time, but you scared us, and I think – I think this is a good thing.  I needed to see it clearly.  I needed to see how close you would come to not coming back before I could walk away.  I had to see you like this, screaming in agony, before it sank into my bones._

_I will not let you die for me._

_I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…_

_Shh.  It’s okay.  I know, I know.  It hurts.  It hurts, but you will heal._

_And I will be there for you when you are ready.  When you can look at me and see that I am not leaving you to sink.  I am letting you go so you can swim._

_Fight, Barry.  Fight hard.  But don’t let me drag you down._

_I’m afraid.  I don’t have the cosmic under my skin, coercing strength from spent muscles.  But I am alive, and I will fight to stay that way._

_I’m letting go of you so you can live._

_I hope we meet again at the shore._


End file.
